i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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