The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
