apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
