can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
