I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
