Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
