we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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