Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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