Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
