you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
