Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
