I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
