Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
