Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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