Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
