I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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