I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
