I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
