Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
