just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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