It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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