Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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