My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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