No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
