i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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