a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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