I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
