hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This is my gift to your gina
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
