I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
