no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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