Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
