So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
