I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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