I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize