Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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