Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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