**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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