Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
