ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
