He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
