Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just googled if crying burns calories
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
