That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
