I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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