My brain says no but my pants say off.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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