i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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