I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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