so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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