Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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