i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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