Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
