my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
