Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
