The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
