Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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