You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
