Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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