Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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