i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize