You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize