Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
