woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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