is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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