he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
