am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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