It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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